Saturday, 6 September 2014

Let's Dance to Joy Division

I am glad I get on with my parents. 

I have a lot of friends who don't, seeing posts on Facebook about how difficult it is, and hearing how upset they are after finishing university and moving back in with them makes me immensely grateful that the decision to move back to Liverpool wasn't motivated entirely by absolute necessity. Which isn't to say I did have any other options, I didn't, but at least they don't turn the WiFi off when they go to bed.

So far they've been feeding me, provided me with a far more comfortable bed than any of my Glasgow landlords ever did and I have full, unfettered access to five longhaired miniature dachshunds. It's difficult to be less than ecstatic about that. There's been a few things happen that I'm a little apprehensive of, but little things that it seems silly to make a fuss of. Telling my mum I'm not hungry and ten minutes later being presented with a cheese sandwich, being asked why and told "but you'll miss X on television" when I mention I'm going for a ride on my bike after dinner, comments about what I'm wearing. Admitedly that last one was started by my sister and she's a whole different can of crazy snakes. Still, they're things I can't decide if I'm just being sensitive about becasue I'm waiting for this whole "moving back in with my parents" thing to become a disaster or if this is the kind of thing I need to nip in the bud and end right now.

Boris, our latest addition to the pack.

I don't want to seem ungrateful and risk alienating them but at the same time it would be nice to get some distance and be able to live here and not feel like a teenager. At least when I was a teenager I knew that I'd be moving out when I finished school, right now I don't know when my bank balance will justify me renting without a family discount again.

I need to think about jobs and the future and what happens next and where my life is going, but right now I'm exhausted. I've got some ideas for jobs I'd really like to do (and even an interview!) but those positions don't start until next year. In the meantime I need money and I'm in the process of sending out applications, mostly retail, hoping for some seaonal work to come up that will help to tide me over. The town my parents live in is about 9 miles outside of Liverpool city centre, by no means an uncommutable distance, but if I can find anything a little closer that will allow me to not spend two hours a day on a train that would be wonderful.

I think my dad is a little disappointed that I'm leaving university and filling out applications for coffee shops, he never went to university and comes from a generation where if you have a degree you should automatically be able to walk into at least a management position. I studied ancient history, with a focus on literature in translation, clearly not a lifestyle choice made with easy employment opportunities in mind so if I can get a job in a shop, working with nice people, I'll be happy for the time being. Something that will give me time to write, rediscover hobbies and that isn't exciting enough I'll have any hesitations about walking away from when a better offer arises.

I know I'm not the first to be in a similar situation, do any of you have any advice? 

Joy xx

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PS The title, in case you were wondering, is from this.


  1. I think parents often revert to treating their child as a child, even when they've grown up - which can be frustrating and must be hard to face on a daily basis. After tasting the freedom and independence of living away from home, having to answer questions about where you're going/when you'll be back can feel smothering- even if they're only asking because they care!

    In terms of employment, have you signed up to any temp agencies? You're clearly very intelligent and they're always desperate for people who can pick jobs up quickly. Once you've built a good reputation you'll be able to pick and choose your jobs too, and there's never a shortage of work - you can try a different job every week! Good luck with the job hunt :) xxx

  2. This is interesting - I had to move back home after finishing my Masters in Scotland and it hasn't been that bad. I mean it's been tough because I never expected it, but I do love my parents and since I'm moving away soon I'm taking advantage of spending time with them because I know I won't see them for a while when I move back to the UK.

    Looking for work is the worst - my parents are always pushing to just pick whatever comes my way when I'm trying to find something suitable for my career! I think it's very hard for older generation to judge us because, like you said, many of them never needed a degree to get where they are now. It's a much tougher job market that we are faced with nowadays!

  3. My biggest piece of advice is just not to let this sort of job hunting get you down. I graduated a few years ago with an MA in buildings archaeology (again, not the most sensible choice but fun) and I'm currently working in a pub. It's not what I imagined but it has other plus sides like more free time to enjoy the people (and dogs!) I love as well as to pursue creative endeavours. Sometimes people look down their noses at you if you work in a "menial" job but that's their prejudices and you just can't let them get to you.

    Best of luck, I hope you enjoy whatever comes your way! xx