Wednesday, 24 July 2013


Pour the Pimms, dig out the bunting (bunting manufactures must be enjoying the greatest boom of all time, a Royal wedding, a jubilee, the Olympics and now a Royal baby. At least we're getting our money's worth) and set off the canons. If you've been living under an isolated rock with no internet connection you probably still heard that on Monday Prince Harry was ousted as third in line to the throne by his brand new nephew. 

Happy Family.

HRH Baby Cambridge still doesn't have a proper name (maybe they only planned for a girl?) but if they're open to suggestions I think HRH Tarquin Rupert Merryweather Cambridge has a good ring to it. My dad wants them to have a bit of fun and go with Austin.

The bonny blue might match his eyes.
I love babies, especially all the fun of naming them. This speculation over what Baby Cambridge will be called is my bread and butter. Now I'm not a Katie Hopkins but I do think names are important, that you want a name that's just as comfortable scrubbing floors as wearing a diadem and can kick ass in its spare time. Pretty sure I ripped that line from a Terry Pratchett book.

I only have the one name, Joy, which is a lovely name. It suits me in its own way. People generally remember it and I'm often told how 'nice' it is when filling in forms or introducing myself to new people. It has its flaws though, there's not much I can do with it, I am just Joy to everyone (or occasionally 'Harpy' but only to a certain someone) I never suited nicknames, Joyful and Joyous were as close as they came. I've never had much choice about my name, I don't even have a middle name I can fall back on to use and I've never been able to buy stuff with my name on. Except at Christmas and that doesn't really count. There aren't many ways you can personalise a single syllable really. I am Joy to my family, to my friends, to colleagues, employers and enemies. 

My children will not have this issue.

They will have many (many, many, many) other issues, but they will have plenty of names with which to disguise their identities. Three names has always felt like a reasonable number to give someone, that way I can give them a name, an epic name and something to fall back on in case it all goes wrong and they become accountants.

The current list is not set in stone, the fact that I haven't found some of the right names yet means there are gaps and I am, of course, open to the fact that all those crazy pregnancy hormones might come into it and in my befuddled post natal state let the father express an opinion. That seems unlikely however.

  1. Esmeralda Rose ????
  2. Anastasia Temperance Mayhem
  3. Guinevera Hero ????
  1. Lawrence Horatio Quantum
  2. Dylan Sebastian ????
  3. Oliver Danger Gwion

But like I said, this list isn't set in stone and I'm opening to new suggestions.

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